is possible to improve one’s character and refine it, by doing the following:
Knowing the virtues of having a good character and the reward that will result from it in this world and the hereafter.
Knowing the bad consequences of having a bad character, and what will result from it of requital and negative consequences.
Studying the biographies of the earlier generations (Salaf) and the lives of the righteous.
Avoiding getting angry, striving to attain patience, and training oneself to be deliberate and not hasty.
Sitting with people of good character, and avoiding sitting with people of bad character.
Training oneself to develop a good character and trying to make oneself become accustomed to that, and being patient when striving to do that.
Finally: calling upon Allah, may He be Exalted, and asking Him to make your character good and help you to attain that. One of the supplications of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) was: “O Allah, You have made my outward appearance good, so make my character good.” Narrated by Ahmad (24392); classed as authentic by the commentators on Al-Musnad. Also classed as authentic by Al-Albani in Sahih Al-Jami‘ (1307).
If a Muslim slips and behaves badly in some situation, he should hasten to apologise and set things straight, and he should resolve to improve his character.
When the Muslim strives to improve his character, doing that in obedience to the command of Allah, may He be exalted, seeking His pleasure and following the example of the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), this is like any other act of worship (that is, he should be sincere in his intention and so on). So he should not try to improve his character in order that people might praise him, because this will cancel out the reward and he will be deserving of punishment for showing off.
Just as the Muslim should strive to make all his worship sincerely for Allah alone, so too he should strive to do the same when trying to improve his character. He should always bear in mind the command of Allah, the reckoning, the balance, and paradise and hell, and he should remember that people will never benefit him or harm him at all. Remembering the hereafter is one of the most important means that will help the Muslim to be sincere to Allah, may He be exalted.
How to be dutiful to parents in Islam?
Things that will help one to treat parents kindly include the following:
Knowing the rights and virtues of parents, and how they brought up their children and put up with hardship in order to give their children a life of ease and joy.
Knowing the Islamic texts that encourage showing kindness to parents , and the texts that warn against defiantly disobeying them, and understanding the effect that it may have and the punishment for it in this world and the hereafter.
Knowing that showing kindness to parents is one of the greatest means of ensuring that the one who shows kindness to his parents will have children who will show kindness to him, and that defiantly disobeying parents is one of the greatest means of ensuring that the one who defiantly disobeys his parents will have children who will be defiantly disobedient towards him.
Studying the biographies of the earlier generations (the Salaf) and learning how they used to honour their fathers and mothers.
Reading books and essays that speak about showing kindness to parents or defiantly disobeying them, and also listening to Islamic lessons that speak about these topics.
Gifting them, saying kind words, being cheerful, offering a great deal of supplication and speaking well to them are among the greatest means that help one to show kindness to parents.
And Allah knows best.
VIRTUES OF DEEDSCHARACTER AND MORALS
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